How it should be
by Alien Cow
Summary: alright I'm doing tamers!!! I have nothing better to do!!!! i don't work on it much but it will arive sooner or later.
1. Season 1

How it should be  
  
** wassup I have nothing to do so I will express my feelings of how I think digimon should have been. Darn it I have some pretty good opinions. Flames ha I laugh at you!!!**  
  
……………  
  
The "chosen" children were all in their cabins.  
  
"Damn it Izzy, online chess sucks!" said Tai.  
  
"You're the one that wanted to play!!!" retorted Izzy.  
  
"Whoahoho it's snowing," said Joe.  
  
"For the last time it can't- hey it really is this time!" said Matt.  
  
"I don't think that's normal or safe, why don't we go out and see?" said TK.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHH," as they all seemingly plunge to their deaths.  
  
"Wait we're fine," said Sora.  
  
*Oof, oof, oof, oof* the rest of them land.  
  
"It's just like my dream now radioactive bunnies will leap out to slash our- ", (Matt) "Damn it Joe, shut up!!!"  
  
"Hi I'm Korom-", "AHHHH, a talking piece of crap!!!" screamed Tai.  
  
"No I'm not a-"  
  
"Get it off!!!"  
  
"Be quiet, we all got one too," an annoyed Sora said.  
  
"Shuttingup." zipped Tai. "Anything for you baby."  
  
"Let go of my leg!" shouted Sora.  
  
"So, uh what are you?" asked Mimi.  
  
"We're Digimon, my name is Tanemon, "My name is-" "That's nice, don't care. Just wanted to know what you are, not a whole frickin' introduction," said all the kids.  
  
…………..  
  
"Get him Agumon!!!! Use your fire ball!"  
  
"FIREBA-wait it's pepper breath."  
  
"Yeah but why do you all have to say your attacks?"  
  
"I dunno, it's a reflex."  
  
"Well if you don't quit I'll beat it out a ya."  
  
*Starts to cry*  
  
"GRRR" growled Tai.  
  
"Tai leave him alone," said Sora.  
  
"Agumon best buddy!"  
  
*Starts drooling on Sora's feet*  
  
"Matt, sic him."  
  
*BAM, POW, Tai's on the ground whimpering. *  
  
"Hey a Devil- oupe he's dead, Jerk, singing, monkey, dead too, vampire /hey a new kid wid a kitty/, dead- wait not quite, now he's dead."  
  
"JOE! STOP SPECTATING!!!"  
  
"Myotismon is a talking basketball-crotch. Hehe" said TK.  
  
"Should the ground be in the sky?" asked Mimi.  
  
"Hey, no." said Izzy.  
  
"Well it is and we're going up."  
  
"Oh God im nauseous, colors, floating, the things created on the internet." said Joe.(barf)  
  
……………  
  
"Hey the monkey's back!"  
  
"That's it!!!"  
  
……………  
  
"Aeroveedramon go get em'- oops wrong place!"  
  
*shuffle, slam*  
  
"Tai were you just?- never mind," said a confused Matt  
  
"I will destroy you all!" said Piedmon.  
  
"Angemon DGVLV to Magnaangemon!!!"  
  
"Bitchin!!!" say Kari + TK.  
  
"Gate of Destiny!"  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
"Whoo finally over." says Tai.  
  
*all hanging with their mouths open*  
  
"Aww damn it there's somethin' else behind me isn't there?"  
  
……….  
  
"….I hated those crests anyway they hurt my neck." said Mimi  
  
*Everybody goes to ultimate/mega*  
  
"The big ugly hectagon go BOOM!!!" says Kari.  
  
………..  
  
"Now we can finally go home," said Izzy.  
  
All agree.  
  
"Don't you wanna stay?"  
  
"Hell no!!!" yell all the kids.  
  
*SLAM, vroom…*  
  
THE END  
  
  
  
** Wow my opinion sucks!!! Uh I guess if you think it's funny write a review. Im usually not a long talker so uh thanks** 


	2. Prelude

1 Prelude  
  
**This is about the movie where they first see Agumon and Greymon ya know?**  
  
…………….  
  
Kari gets up from sleeping and sees the computer.  
  
(Hmm I suppose since everyone's asleep I can "play" with the computer.)  
  
"An egg?"  
  
*PLOP* "Oof, oww that hurt!"  
  
"Kari what are you doing with the computer? Are you looking at those gross sites again?"  
  
………  
  
"Uhh, what a night. I don't know where those dreams keep coming from. Damn, that Sora's fine. Kari that egg was real?!?"  
  
"Yeah it came out of the monit- hey put down that hammer!!!"  
  
"Oh fine."  
  
………  
  
*crack, crunch* "bo bo bo"  
  
"That ain't no chicken," said Tai.  
  
"Where do I turn of the bubble dispenser?" said Kari.  
  
"DGVLV to Koromon!!! I'm hungry!!!"  
  
"AHHHH a talking piece of crap!!! Meko, attack!!!  
  
"Wait I'm not-AHHHH!!!"  
  
………..  
  
"Never met crap that could crap."  
  
*beep beep beep*  
  
"Hey everything's going nuts."  
  
"Koromon DGVLV to Agumon!!!"  
  
"Wow this one's crap is even bigger than the last one's."  
  
*Leap* "Kari nooo who'll remember to give me my Ritalin!?!"  
  
………..  
  
"PEPPER FLAME!!!"  
  
"Wait my grandma's on that plane!!!" *BOOM*  
  
*CRACK* "ARRR!!!"(Parotmon)  
  
"Agumon DGVLV to Greymon!!!"  
  
…………..  
  
"Hey Mimi. No I didn't call you for "that". Yeah, Un huh. Well anyway you see this Parrot and Dinosaur outside. Yeah, I think they're filming another movie. Oh, alright. Kay bye."  
  
"See ya, Joe."  
  
…………  
  
"GREYMON!!!"  
  
"He's gone Kari. But at least he left us something. Damn it smells."  
  
THE END  
  
** hehe. Please R+R (rest and relax)** 


	3. Omnimon vs Diaboromon

Omnimon vs Diaboromon  
  
**Alright like I said in the Chap after this here it is. Well there is already a lot of funny stuff in the movie so I have no idea how I'll do this. And if you haven't already, look at my bio and see who writes this story you might be surprised.**  
  
………….  
  
"A digiegg? Uh, I think it's gonna hatch!"  
  
bing "chirp chirp- ehehem uh hello!!!"  
  
…………  
  
(Dear Sora,  
  
I'm sorry about what I tried to give you for your birthday. I know you really aren't ready for that commitment if you know what I mean. I also know I shouldn't have use that rope. You didn't have to hit me so hard though. Well maybe next year. Ehuhuhuhu!!!  
  
Love,  
  
Tai)  
  
*I hope you all get that*  
  
"I know she'll give in to me," said Tai.  
  
*Tai later realizes that Agumon is more his type*  
  
…………  
  
"What do you want Izzy?" said Tai.  
  
"Yeah, remember I lent you that computer game? Well, I'd like it back. Oh, and there's a deadly Digimon trying to destroy the world."  
  
"So what else is new? Here's the computer game. Bye!"  
  
"Don't you think we should take care of it?"  
  
"Nah, these things tend to work themselves out."  
  
*Smack* "C'mon you idiot!"  
  
Tai rubs his head.  
  
………..  
  
*they're at the internet w/ Agumon and Tentomon*  
  
"Agumon DGVLV to Greymon!!!"  
  
"Tentomon DGVLV to Kabuterimon!!!"  
  
"Go get 'em! *blam* Oh, well, I guess… just rest then," said Tai.  
  
"My, my, that was quick," said Izzy.  
  
"I can't believe the two Digimon at the Champion level weren't enough! We're never going to beat this thing!"  
  
"Why don't we just digivolve to mega and blow him away now? I mean really they're just Champions you twit," said Izzy.  
  
"Oh, no he's at the phone company! And look, he's dialing all the dirty gay numbers I use! Did I say that out loud?" said a nervous Tai.  
  
"Did you here a word I said, you perv?"  
  
…………  
  
*They get Matt and TK and now they're battling Diaboromon*  
  
"Agumon Warp-DGVLV to Wargreymon!!!"  
  
"Gabumon Warp-DGVLV to Metalgarurumon!!!"  
  
"Patamon DGVLV to-AHHHH!!!"  
  
"Mmmm, pork!" said Diaboromon.  
  
*SMACK* "Oh, fine I'll eat you later. Come'ere puppy!!!"  
  
…………  
  
*They digivolve to Omnimon and there is an alternate ending*  
  
*BLAM BLAM BLAM*  
  
(Let's kick it u-u cough cough togeth- cough cough.)  
  
"There's the original!" said Tai  
  
"The missile is about to hit!!!" said Izzy.  
  
"Let's go!!!"  
  
"Three,…..two,…..on-"*BOOOOOOOM!!!!!*  
  
*Like I said, alternate ending. But don't worry, when Piccolo and Gohan get back from Namek, they wish back the Earth*  
  
…………  
  
** Alright that's good. Wasn't as hard as I thought. Please R+R (rest and relax)** 


	4. Season 2

1 How it should be (season 2)  
  
** Okee chap. 2/3 (Iono) as requested. This will probably prove to be a bit harder than the others. Just got a feelin'. Oh well I'll try. And in case you haven't noticed I really hate the goggle-wearing butts. Takoto's better but still. And I forgot the movie w/ Omnimon so that is going to be before this.**  
  
………….  
  
"Wow, so these are our digivices?" said Yolie.  
  
"Is there an echo, or didn't I just say that?" said Izzy.  
  
"Ok, gosh, don't have a cow," she said.  
  
"Oupe, too late!" said Davis. ("MOO")  
  
………….  
  
"Ok, so these are our partner Digimon?" said Cody.  
  
"Oh Jesus!" said, again, Izzy.  
  
………….  
  
"Oh no, it's the Digimon Emporer again!" (Davis)  
  
"That's pretty weird hair you know?" said Kari.  
  
"Yeah, that's right!" agreed Davis.  
  
"Wait no it's not," said Kari.  
  
"Yeah, that's right!"  
  
"Actually it's kinda sexy."  
  
"Yeah, that's ri- whoa, hey!!!"  
  
"See how easy they are to manipulate?" said Kari.  
  
"You fools, you can't possibly defeat me!!!"  
  
"Oh yeah, Digivolve you gay little lizard!"  
  
"Gaymon ARMR DGVLV to- wait, I mean, uh, damn it!; Veemon ARMR-DGVLV to Flamedramon!!!"  
  
*They win the fight yadayadayada*  
  
…………..  
  
"Wait, that cut on you're leg, you're Ken Ichijougi!!!" said Davis.  
  
"Well you're awful fast genius!!!" said the Empo-Ke-whatever!  
  
"Hey, you're the genius," said Davis with a smirk.  
  
"My point exactly, ya stupid piece of shit," mumbles Ken.  
  
………….  
  
*Alright they beat him, he joins their side and I really don't wanna write a lot. And here we are at the movie.*  
  
"Willis you have rabbit Digimon. Damn that's lame. Whatever, go on and get golden, all of ya. Alright, that evil bunny is dead, I think. You'll never wet you're bed from nightmares again," Davis, the regular chatterbox, said.  
  
…………..  
  
*Screw it, I really, really, don't wanna write a lot! Seraphimon didn't get enough air time. they all get their champions and stuff, start destroying the spires, discover Amon + Mmon, and I knew this would be hard!!!*  
  
…………...  
  
"This time I'll use 10 control spires!!!" said Arukenimon.  
  
"Get them Okuwamon!!!" said Mummymon  
  
"Hey, what happening my digivice is acting weird?" said Ken.  
  
"Yeah, mine too!" (Davis)  
  
"Xveemon," "Stingmon," "DNA DGVLV to Paildramon!!!"  
  
"Whoa that's strange," said Ken  
  
"What happened?" said Davis.  
  
"We joined and now we are one," the incredibly annoying voice said.  
  
"Ewww!" said Cody.  
  
*And that big ugly bug dies. Someone tell me if I'm cutting too much out cause what I do cut out, I can't really make funny.*  
  
…………..  
  
"Alright (sigh) now I'll use 100 spires!" said a now P.O.ed Arukenimon.  
  
"Roar, I'm Blackwargreymon and I don't have a heart so I'm just going to mercilessly kill ancient elephants and destroy stones of which I have no reason to because I'm a poor, lonely, bastard without a heart (huuuu) and I'm too depressed to just cut myself open to make sure and now I-mfmfmf."  
  
"Shut it you freakin' look alike!!!"  
  
"Oh no, how'll we fight him, he's a mega?" said Yolie.  
  
"It's impossible odds, but we'll just have to try!" said Davis.  
  
…………..  
  
"Gosh, how'd we lose?"  
  
2 "Davis, do 'impossible odds' ring a bell?!?"  
  
"Wait….. wait.. I think I- no I don't rember."  
  
…………..  
  
*They all get their DNAs. And here is where they are w/Azulongmon.*  
  
3 "And that's how babies are born…. oh, and how Hope and Light work in all this. Well, goodbye all!" said Azulongmon and he was gone.  
  
"Wow, I never knew it happened like that," said Davis.  
  
Everyone stares at him.  
  
"Uh, I mean how Hope and Light are the best defenses against darkness?"  
  
…………..  
  
*Skip ahead a bit, again(greatly stressed)!!!*  
  
"This orb will help you to digivolve," said Gennai.  
  
"Can you eat it?" said Davis.  
  
"Well I guess, but it's not really edib-,"  
  
"Sweet, gimme!!!"  
  
"No! You need this. Now here we go."  
  
"bla bla DGVLV to Imperialdramon!!!"  
  
*Zap, Zap, Pow, Pow, and more explosions, you know killing bad Digimon and all.*  
  
"Who're you?" said a very left out Cody.  
  
"I'm Daemon and, uh, I really have no life and live in my parent's basement. I guess there's really not much of a profile for me, so, ya know, thought I'd take over the worlds, score some ass. Ahh and here are the Daemon Corps. Bribery gets you so far these days. Jesus, you don't know how much that whore Ladydevimon wanted, though. My wallet is now empty. (sigh)"  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen. I, Mr. Referee, officially proclaim these to be submission robat- I mean submission digi-battles. Imperialdramon (Fighter Mode) vs Skullsatamon, Sylphimon vs Ladydevimon, and Shakkoumon vs Marinedevimon. Digibots (damn), ro-uh I d-digi-battle!"  
  
"Hahaha you can't do anything while I have this bus of kids, Imperialdramon!" said Skullsatamon.  
  
"Go the hell ahead, I don't give a damn."  
  
"Well, uh you, uh-AHHHH!!!" as the devil burns away(with the kids).  
  
"Too late sucka," as he blows the smoke away from his blaster.  
  
…………..  
  
"Ok, now who are you(sigh)?" said Cody.  
  
"I- you know you sound kind of annoyed, as if you've done this many times before. Anyway, I am Okaiwa, the skeletal, girly haired, butt-munch who is so deppressed that he always daydreams and fantasizes about little digital creatures prancing about in a little world inside his head all day and picks on little kids with those creatures. And now I shall kidnap you Ken!!!(dun dun dun)"  
  
"Oh no. I shall now be kidnapped."  
  
………….  
  
"Sup Ryo." "Sup Ken."  
  
"Oh look, a big ugly monster is crashing to the ground."  
  
"Oh nooooo."  
  
CRASH. And Ken wakes up.  
  
………….  
  
"Alright, so you're telling me that there is a tree growing in my neck?" said Ken.  
  
"Well, no there isn't a-"  
  
"So there's a tree in you're neck?"  
  
"No!!! Just don't talk!" and Okaiwa gags Ken.  
  
………….  
  
"I can't let him get to the digital world!!!" said Blackwargreymon and dissolved.  
  
"Good riddance you jerk. There's only room enough for one Greymon!" said Wargreymon.  
  
……………  
  
*Good God there's too much in this series, and I hate writing so much!!! Let's say they're in that screwed up dimension (ni ni ni ni ni ni ni ni) notice I made no comments in the other Chaps. This one is acceptionly long and I need to keep sane.*  
  
"Wow look at all their forms! I am going to "play" with each and every one of you," said Davis to all the blue lizards.  
  
"No, you'll never defeat me!!!" said Marshmellowmyotismon(hehe).  
  
"Yes we will!"  
  
"No you won't!"  
  
"Yes!" "No!" "Yes!" "No- look are you going to whip my butt or what. I don't have all day, ya know?"  
  
"Alright fine!"  
  
All the kids come. Glow glow, he's dead.  
  
………………………………………………….  
  
You know what happened 25 years later but what about 50?  
  
  
  
TK met his mentor Stephen King and didn't like him so he shot him. TK got the chair. He had one boy who was retarded.  
  
Kari's class rebelled and now she's in the mental ward. In the process they used Gatomon for torch fuel.  
  
Tai, who was happily married to Agumon and had one son (who grew up to be gay just like him), had his entire campaign flushed down an already used toilet, Agumon left him, and now he is a part time beggar/ part time 65 year old male prostitute working beside his son who, though uglier, makes much more money.  
  
Matt died with Gabumon in space.  
  
Sora, in her grief and wearing her most famous designer dress, took her and her kids to the Sears Tower and SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLAT.  
  
Mimi choked on her own homemade chicken. Her son was also eating the chicken at the time and suffered the same fate.  
  
Izzy and his daughter went through Ghost in the Machine. His computer got sick and tired of him so he took it into its own hands/wires. (bum bum BUM)  
  
While picking a thorn out of Baihumon's paw, he bit of Joe's head.  
  
Davis and Veemon were caught in a drive-by on the streets of Japan. Though I guess that rarely happens. His son died of food poisoning from the noodles.  
  
Ken, Yolie, and all three kids were killed in a gasoline explosion. Hawkmon also roasted. Don't ask how it all happened.  
  
Cody lost a case and his client murdered him sealing his own sentence. The client was Armadillomon.  
  
Palmon, Agumon, Biyomon, Patamon, Gomamon, Tentomon, Wormmon, Joe's son, Kari's son, and Cody's daughter all joined a cult and committed mass suicide.  
  
  
  
**Alright we're done. Whooooooooo man I am done with that. Jesus that took a while. Still more to come I guess. Okee please R+R (rest and relax)** 


End file.
